The Tax on People Who Don't Understand Statistics
Tonight’s Power Ball lottery is up to an estimated 360 million dollars. That’s 360 followed by six, count ‘em six zeros! ($360,000,000) I have never had anything that had that many zeros in it. Not even my old college transcripts.
Of course, as people gather in the glow of the CRTs around the office to discuss the dream lives they would have if they won all that money, someone will invariably say, “First, I’d pay off all my bills.” My co-workers and I have decided that this is pretty well B.S.
Let’s say you lose half of the money to taxes, that still leaves you with 180 million dollars. Sports stars aside, who could really spend that much money? You could afford to hire someone to call you creditors and tell them to go to hell. You will never need credit again!
In fact, one of the doctors I work with came up with an even better plan. He said that he would drive his credit as bad as it could go, then go into a Ferrari dealership to try to buy a car. After they reviewed his credit application and turned him down, he would then say, “How about this suitcase full of cash? Will you take that?” He’s a genius!
I am still not buying tickets. I blow enough money on pointless stuff anyway, but at least I get something out of it. I have talked to people who have spent literally hundreds of dollars figuring that if they win it was a good investment. They could take that money and bury it in a hole and have almost the same chance of winning. They say you can’t win if you don’t play. But you also won’t blow the rent money or the car payment if you don’t play either.
Unless you blow it all on CDs.
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Random Fact: Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
Of course, as people gather in the glow of the CRTs around the office to discuss the dream lives they would have if they won all that money, someone will invariably say, “First, I’d pay off all my bills.” My co-workers and I have decided that this is pretty well B.S.
Let’s say you lose half of the money to taxes, that still leaves you with 180 million dollars. Sports stars aside, who could really spend that much money? You could afford to hire someone to call you creditors and tell them to go to hell. You will never need credit again!
In fact, one of the doctors I work with came up with an even better plan. He said that he would drive his credit as bad as it could go, then go into a Ferrari dealership to try to buy a car. After they reviewed his credit application and turned him down, he would then say, “How about this suitcase full of cash? Will you take that?” He’s a genius!
I am still not buying tickets. I blow enough money on pointless stuff anyway, but at least I get something out of it. I have talked to people who have spent literally hundreds of dollars figuring that if they win it was a good investment. They could take that money and bury it in a hole and have almost the same chance of winning. They say you can’t win if you don’t play. But you also won’t blow the rent money or the car payment if you don’t play either.
Unless you blow it all on CDs.
************
Random Fact: Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
posted by Eric the Something at 2/18/2006 09:16:00 PM
2 Comments:
...guess I'm guilty as charged. I bought a ticket and that's the bad news.
The good news however is that I'm right-handed. Yippee!!
My brother is left handed. If he dies first, I am going to start counting years.
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