Monday, January 09, 2006

Potty At My Parents' House!

I am convinced that the guest bathroom in my parents’ house is there specifically to make sure guests don’t overstay their welcome.

It is nothing glaringly obvious, at first. My mother is a very good decorator and the room seems inviting enough from the door way. There are nice towels in matching, coordinated colors. Nice, framed cross-stitch works and shadow boxes with dried flowers. Very inviting.

Until you try to use it.

First, there is the lighting. There is no light over the toilet and it sits in a semi-shadowed corner. Not that big a deal, but men like to read in the john and good light helps. Luckily, there is a fan. (It doesn't help for reading, but it is helpful to those who follow after.)

The wall of the tub comes up to just above my knee. I am 5’11” so this is not a short wall. It makes a deep enough tub that one could take a bath, should one choose. But, the tub floor sits at floor level, so having to lift a leg that high to enter the tub can be a bit precarious. Then there is the problem of exiting the tub. The floor of the tub is wet and treacherous, there is nothing to grab onto, and the walls are slippery with steam. (At least, the way I shower they are.)

If you make it out of the tub without falling, the next thing you notice is that the light over the sink id glaringly harsh. Coupled with a mirror which, from the outside of the tub, reflects from mid thigh and up. The mirror is so unflattering, that Callista Flockhart would think from her reflection, that she needs to lose a few pounds.

Now, granted I wear glasses, but not in the shower, so my vision might be a bit distorted, but, seeing my washed out, gelatinous reflection was a bit horrifying. It’s enough to make you wish you had slipped in the shower.

But if the reflection is accurate, the paramedics don’t need to be seeing that! This is why I am convinced that sex should be done by candlelight. But that is a whole different topic. The bottom line is, as much as I enjoyed visiting my family, I was glad to get home to the lighting and mirrors that understand me and make me feel wanted.

Plus, I don’t have to sleep on the floor at home.


Random Chuck Norris Fact: Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.


Blogger Geek Girl said...

Someone emailed me the Chuck Norris site yesterday. There is no Chuch Norris tendon! (Thats my personal favorite).

1/10/2006 11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE that Chuck Norris site. ROFL


1/10/2006 11:42 AM  

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