It Came From The Internet
For quite a while, I was keeping a folder of junk e-mail with titles that made me laugh for one reason or another. One of them became a post all to itself, but here is a list of quickies. Be warned, there are many naughty words contained herein. Also, many typos, which I have left intact.
cleavage 7 curses
--Much more interesting than Plan Nine From Outer Space
Me proud to pull that thing out
--Tarzan and the lion with a thorn in its paw?
Fwd: Wanna hear a joke?
--This one was for penis enlargement pills. Irony at it’s best!
Be Acquainted With Your Further Half
--How much further now?
Blonde..in tight..Panties.
--Sung to the tune of “Knights in White Satin”
These girls want more than one cock
--And there are so few women with just the one.
Use your dick as a club
--Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? D-I-C. K-E-Y…
Give..her Multiple..Orgasms..
--You can see the strain involved just from this line.
Life is Short, Get a Big Tool!
--The H2 is great for over compensators.
Here Is Found The Fountain Of ROCK-HARD
--Just past the Fountain of Youth, hang a left.
Blondes get Tagged...by Large Cock
--Somehow I remember this game differently in my school playground.
Watch Little chicks that Like Big dicks
--Farmer Dick is awfully tall, but he has the best feed.
DUMB BL0NDE TAKES DICK
--He may have lost the house and the kids, but at least Dick got to keep the car.
Don't never not use double-negatives.
--Okay, but these triple negatives are just as bad.
Lose inches in the shower!
--All I lose in the shower is hair.
BREAK WALLS WITH YOUR BIG COCK!
--If my aim gets so bad that I am running into walls, I want a refund!
Are You Gay And Don't Know it?
--That would explain a lot…
I'll love you more if you stop going bald.
--Sadly, this wasn’t junk mail, but a break up letter.
GROW 4 INCHES ALMOST OVERNIGHT - SEE HOW!
--Now my feet hang over the end of the bed.
Friend, Your dog can be smarter!
--If he gets any smarter, he’s going to figure out I am an idiot!
YOU CAN BE HUNG LIKE A PORN STAR!
--They use the same kind of noose.
Meet Sara from whoremart
--Wow, there’s a Mart for almost everything!
NASTY DOGFART SLUTS TAKING IT HARD!
--Umm…Sorry, brain got stuck. WTF?
YOUNG SNOBBY CHICKS GETTING HAMMERED!
--Ahh, the Bush twin’s official website.
86% OF ALL WOMEN LIKE IT BIGGER
--They don’t mean the stomach.
Men - Get Larger Where it Counts
--86% of all women say it’s your bank account balance.
Raping Animal Lovers Go To The Extreme!!!
--As if raping animals wasn’t extreme enough.
SMACK PEOPLE WITH YOUR HUGE DICK!
--So, penis enlargement makes you abusive?
A YOU A HARD WORK?
--Umm…Maybe?
YOU HAVE WON THE FREE PORN LOTTERY!
--Yippee! The winning number was 69!
MAKE YOUR COCK PUMP IRON!
--It beats trying to get your arms to do it. Make sure to towel the bench off.
HOMOSEXUAL LESBIANS GETTING FREAKY!
--As opposed to the straight lesbians?
Stay Rock Hard ALL Night Long Plus Add Inches
--Well, okay, but only if I can add inches, too.
HUGE MONSTER COCK GETS little Kelly
--And she couldn’t do anything! No tag-backs!
Want a good opprotunity!!!
--I’d better look that up before I say yes.
HAVE A MASSIVE HORSE COCK!!
--Must sell! Taxidermist going out of business!
FUCK FOR 8 HOURS STRAIGHT! AND LOSE 50 LBS
--I don’t have that kind of time! Could I do a couple of 2 hour/12.5 pound sessions?
GET A HORSE COCK NOW!
--Just ask the guy two spots up!
Hung like a h _ _ s _. FILL IN THE BLANKS
--House? Heist? Hoist?
DONT BE SCARED AT THE BEACH THIS YEAR!
--Jaws was make believe.
Feeling Old? We Can Help!
--Just ask my mom. We make her feel old all the time!
Animals In Action!!!!!!!
--You should see my demon cats for the hour long chase around the house every morning.
I WANT TO SUCK YOUR COCK
--She didn’t really want to. And you could tell.
MAKE PEOPLE SICK WITH YOUR HUGE DICK!!
--The Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson story.
HAVE SEX FOREVER
--Sometimes it just seems like it.
BRITTANY SPEARS WANTS TO SUCK YOUR COCK!
--She didn’t want to, either. At least that’s what the restraining order says.
************
Random Fact: I've been doing this blog for just about a month now. Wow.
cleavage 7 curses
--Much more interesting than Plan Nine From Outer Space
Me proud to pull that thing out
--Tarzan and the lion with a thorn in its paw?
Fwd: Wanna hear a joke?
--This one was for penis enlargement pills. Irony at it’s best!
Be Acquainted With Your Further Half
--How much further now?
Blonde..in tight..Panties.
--Sung to the tune of “Knights in White Satin”
These girls want more than one cock
--And there are so few women with just the one.
Use your dick as a club
--Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? D-I-C. K-E-Y…
Give..her Multiple..Orgasms..
--You can see the strain involved just from this line.
Life is Short, Get a Big Tool!
--The H2 is great for over compensators.
Here Is Found The Fountain Of ROCK-HARD
--Just past the Fountain of Youth, hang a left.
Blondes get Tagged...by Large Cock
--Somehow I remember this game differently in my school playground.
Watch Little chicks that Like Big dicks
--Farmer Dick is awfully tall, but he has the best feed.
DUMB BL0NDE TAKES DICK
--He may have lost the house and the kids, but at least Dick got to keep the car.
Don't never not use double-negatives.
--Okay, but these triple negatives are just as bad.
Lose inches in the shower!
--All I lose in the shower is hair.
BREAK WALLS WITH YOUR BIG COCK!
--If my aim gets so bad that I am running into walls, I want a refund!
Are You Gay And Don't Know it?
--That would explain a lot…
I'll love you more if you stop going bald.
--Sadly, this wasn’t junk mail, but a break up letter.
GROW 4 INCHES ALMOST OVERNIGHT - SEE HOW!
--Now my feet hang over the end of the bed.
Friend, Your dog can be smarter!
--If he gets any smarter, he’s going to figure out I am an idiot!
YOU CAN BE HUNG LIKE A PORN STAR!
--They use the same kind of noose.
Meet Sara from whoremart
--Wow, there’s a Mart for almost everything!
NASTY DOGFART SLUTS TAKING IT HARD!
--Umm…Sorry, brain got stuck. WTF?
YOUNG SNOBBY CHICKS GETTING HAMMERED!
--Ahh, the Bush twin’s official website.
86% OF ALL WOMEN LIKE IT BIGGER
--They don’t mean the stomach.
Men - Get Larger Where it Counts
--86% of all women say it’s your bank account balance.
Raping Animal Lovers Go To The Extreme!!!
--As if raping animals wasn’t extreme enough.
SMACK PEOPLE WITH YOUR HUGE DICK!
--So, penis enlargement makes you abusive?
A YOU A HARD WORK?
--Umm…Maybe?
YOU HAVE WON THE FREE PORN LOTTERY!
--Yippee! The winning number was 69!
MAKE YOUR COCK PUMP IRON!
--It beats trying to get your arms to do it. Make sure to towel the bench off.
HOMOSEXUAL LESBIANS GETTING FREAKY!
--As opposed to the straight lesbians?
Stay Rock Hard ALL Night Long Plus Add Inches
--Well, okay, but only if I can add inches, too.
HUGE MONSTER COCK GETS little Kelly
--And she couldn’t do anything! No tag-backs!
Want a good opprotunity!!!
--I’d better look that up before I say yes.
HAVE A MASSIVE HORSE COCK!!
--Must sell! Taxidermist going out of business!
FUCK FOR 8 HOURS STRAIGHT! AND LOSE 50 LBS
--I don’t have that kind of time! Could I do a couple of 2 hour/12.5 pound sessions?
GET A HORSE COCK NOW!
--Just ask the guy two spots up!
Hung like a h _ _ s _. FILL IN THE BLANKS
--House? Heist? Hoist?
DONT BE SCARED AT THE BEACH THIS YEAR!
--Jaws was make believe.
Feeling Old? We Can Help!
--Just ask my mom. We make her feel old all the time!
Animals In Action!!!!!!!
--You should see my demon cats for the hour long chase around the house every morning.
I WANT TO SUCK YOUR COCK
--She didn’t really want to. And you could tell.
MAKE PEOPLE SICK WITH YOUR HUGE DICK!!
--The Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson story.
HAVE SEX FOREVER
--Sometimes it just seems like it.
BRITTANY SPEARS WANTS TO SUCK YOUR COCK!
--She didn’t want to, either. At least that’s what the restraining order says.
************
Random Fact: I've been doing this blog for just about a month now. Wow.
posted by Eric the Something at 12/05/2005 11:10:00 PM
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