Saturday, January 21, 2006

Vampires, Werewolves and the Laws of Physics

Okay, if you have not seen "Underworld Evolution" but plan to, don't read this.

So, as you may surmise, I went and saw "Underworld Evolution" Friday night. And I was enjoying it just fine until the final ten minutes or so.

And Marcus goes and pulls a helicopter out of the sky by a piece of rope.

This was the point that my brain said "Oh come ON!" and from there on, I was too fed up to really enjoy the film anymore. Now you may ask why it was this particular bit of film fantasy that I had a problem with. We are talking about a movie where a guy is bitten by a vampire AND a werewolf and becomes a mix of both. We are talking about a movie where they only reload for about a third of the bullets they shoot. A movie that has vampire who flies with bat wings. A movie where a guy is a medical intern in an un-named European country, but doesn't speak the language. A movie where four policemen get their asses handed to them by bogeymen and they come back the next day without any more men. And that's not to mention a movie with vampires and werewolves.

So, as you can see, my sense of reality was already suspended going into the whole affair. But it seems that my brain expected the basic laws of physics to still apply. It boils down to this; It doesn't matter how strong you are, you can't pull a helicopter down.

Before you get too loud in your protests, I propose a simple test. The next time you go to the gym (If you are that kind of person, if not go watch someone who does.) go to one of the pull down machines, put on your body weight plus 50 pounds, then pull down. You know what happens? You pull yourself up! Unless you brace yourself to something that weighs more than the total weight, you will move, not the weights.

Now that you see where I am headed, back to Marcus and the helicopter. First of all, helicopters weigh a LOT more than your average vampire. So, if Marcus were trying to lift one on a teeter totter, he'd have a problem. A helicopter has to produce enough lift to keep itself in the air, plus passengers. (Which, in this case, was at least 6 who disembarked. Selene and the four Red Shirt commandos, then the revived Michael.) So, to counteract that weight, Marcus has to weigh at least as much as those six individuals.

They use helicopters to move heavy cargo. Without doing too much research I found a company that you can use to have helicopters lift things. They lift 6,000 pound air conditioning units. So now Marcus has to weigh at least 6,000 pounds to even begin to think about pulling down a helicopter. And he'd have to be considerably heavier to just YANK it down the way he did.

Now, if this had been "The Matrix" I could accept this, since the suspension of the laws of physics was established as a ground rule. But it wasn't "The Matrix" it's "Underworld Evolution" and this JUST SHOULDN'T BE.

Maybe Marcus has strong toes and gripped the Earth for leverage...


Random Fact: The Hessian soldiers hired by the British to fight the colonists during the Revolutionary War were paid about 25 cents a day.


Blogger Jeepin Foole said...

Ummm....I read somewhere that gravity has a 147.632 times greater pull on fictional bloodsucking beasties. Maybe it was 147.633 times greater pull.


1/31/2006 12:33 AM  

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