Saturday, February 11, 2006

If I Only Had a Life

I used to think that the game The Sims should more aptly be named “Get a Life.” With the expansion pack of “Go Outside and Talk to Real People.” I have to admit that I was a bit prejudiced in this view, never having played the game myself. Now that I have played it a little, and watched it being played I have to admit that I need a life.

Granted, the person who was showing me the game is a mental patient, who is living in a group home with other mental patients who are much older and less independently functional than he is. I can understand how he uses the game to be able to do things that he will never be able to do in his real life. And I do have to admit that I was entertained by the fact that all of the women in his game are dressed in underwear or bathing suits. He has created his own little imaginary harem.

And I am not casting aspersions on the, apparently, millions of people who have bought and enjoyed this game. I am in no way implying that they function on the same level as a mentally ill person. Well, maybe a little I am.

I admit to playing my share of video games. Maybe not that well, but I like to play. I have taken the role of a fighter pilot, a striker for Arsenal, a medieval knight, Indiana Jones, a blue hedgehog and the son of Death to name a few. But this is SO different from making a video version of myself to have the same goals as my real life. Why should I sit in front of a screen trying to find a job, a roommate, an apartment, etc. when these are things that I have already done in real life?

The odds that I shall one day pilot a star fighter against an alien armada are much greater than me finding a girlfriend and buying a pinball machine. (Those of you about to make a comment on the odds of me finding a girlfriend, SHUT IT!)

Now, the only thing more pathetic than playing a game that simulates life is to watch someone else play! (As the Penny Arcade Folks so aptly put it here.) It is a special kind of wrong to have your goal in life be to wait for your turn to try to achieve goals for life. Really. I am shaking my head as I type this.

Now, I am off to build Lego starships and have my little Lego Obi Wan Kenobi decimate the little Lego Darth Maul.

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Random Fact: “It’s either 6:15, or Mickey has a hard on!”

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