"I think I shall now be sick."

I am horribly mentally and emotionally scarred after a recent trip to the convenience store. After the wonderful discovery that are Funyuns with wasabi (Read more here.) I was shocked and appalled to see an affront to nature and all that I hold dear.

I am not trying to be overly dramatic here; I am trying to prepare you for the horror you are about to be told of. So that you won’t be caught by surprise, as I was. So that you, dear reader, can go on about your day with a minimum of mental anguish. My brain is still boggled.

Let us begin with some groundwork and build up. Bud Light. Comes out darker than it goes in. As my friend Clay says, it’s like sex in a canoe; f**king close to water. Then there is Clamato. In the words of the late, great Richard Jeni, “Tomato juice and clam juiced mixed together and you drink it. Notice that I say, YOU drink it!” So, inspired by, perhaps, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and, perhaps, repeated blows to the head, someone came up with Chelada. Two bad tastes, that, when mixed together, would make Satan gag.

Here’s the kicker; you can’t even find this stuff on the Anheuser Busch website search. Even THEY. know this is evil in a can!

I sit, rocking and shuddering just knowing this stuff is out there.

------------

(Not so) Random Fact: Richard Jeni’s specials, previously only available on VHS, will be released on DVD sometime this month.